A Rebel... Without A Cause

My middle finger, left hand, is infected. I cut it a few days ago prepping for lunch and didn't pay attention. Now, it's got my attention.

"What's it all about," I ask myself. "It must mean something," I surmise. And even though Freud said, "Sometimes a rose is just a rose," this middle finger is up to something.

What has happened in the ashram is very interesting.

Having left home at the ripe age of 13 -- you could say I was a rebel. And I've noticed, as many of you have too -- I like to do things my way. If you tell me to do something I don't like, I will either mumble something indecent under my breath, or I'll just plain give you the finger... the middle finger that is.

So what I have noticed is very interesting. The is no room for doing it my way in an ashram. It's their way --- or the highway. Full conformity. Up at 5:30 am. Fire ceremony at 6:30. Aarti at 7:00. Breakfast 8:00 - 9:00. Service, Seva -- Karma Yoga from 9:00 - 1:00. Lunch 1:00 - 2:00. Free time 2:00 - 4:00. Karma Yoga 4:00 - 6:00. Prep for evening Aarti 6:00 - 7:00. Aarti 7:00 - 8:00 and a light dinner and bed by 9ish.

It is now 10:00 PM Thursday evening. I am not rebelling in this case, just carving out some time for myself. It's your tomorrow and will be my tomorrow too when you read this and it just goes to show that sometimes, time doesn't really matter, although eras do.

So why the heck is my middle finger infected?

I'd say it's to show how deeply our wounds can infect our psyche and to bring the puss of yesterday to today -- or tomorrow. And I believe, it is time for our wounds to heal.

I may have mentioned the Taiwanese family that's visiting the ashram. This evening, the auntie of one of the young girls, pinched her very hard on her leg for not complying with the rules. The young girl was aghast and demanded of her mother that she communicate with the aunt and explain that this kind of behavior is no longer acceptable and even though the culture approves --- this young 9 year old is carving the way for a new reality --- healing the wounds of the past and forging a new tomorrow. Especially in a culture that is dominated by controlling the youth. I was moved to see this come to the fore and to partake in facilitating a multi-generational healing.

So even though it has taken me 1/2 hour to type this with one finger less -- I certainly feel full -- of hope and enthusiasm for a better tomorrow; free of the deep wounds that fester and stifle our full expression.

You may just say ... there was rebel among us -- and now -- she's without cause.