Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Why Now? Facebook and Feelings

Why Now? Why is Facebook bringing up so may feelings. And most of them, at best, are reministant of high school.

From day one -- a few weeks ago, it became a contest. How many friends could I get? How many did others have? Would I get in to the right group? Did I have good enough material?

I am not pround of these thoughts... they were showing up as part of my internal dialogue. I didn't plan to be inundated with disruption in my everyday perception. It just sneaked up on me.

Should Facebook be for self promotions? For community gatherings, For self- indulgences? For connecting with old friends?

No matter what my take is on it ... it's happening on every level and clearly, bringing people together. In my case, it's bringing me into my old patterns of thinking and feeling.

And I can tell you for sure, this feeling thing... is unnerving. I thought all my adolescent insecurities were over. The occasional competitive edge is OK, even healthy. But wanting to be in with the right group at 50 is really weird -- or sad -- or--- an opportunity.

Ram Dass once said that the shadow thoughts will never leave entirely. They are likely to submerge under the surface, show up less often, but they are still with us. This Facebook craze may very well be a parting of the waters. At least it is for me.

"So use it Liz,' I hear myself say. 'Stay with the feelings, discern what is true. Be who you are.. that's the great stuff we are all made of." And I hear myself in what I say to others... Focus on the good, you will see more of it. Listen and learn... insights are delights.

So, I stay connected --explore more and emerge each day a bit more excited to join my friends on Facebook. Facebook and feelings. If not now... when?