Right Action - Right Speech

Just before I left town, I went for a pedicure. My manicurist, a Buddhist, offered his advise for how to best use the 40 days in the desert.

Right Action -- Right Speech is one of the path factors of The Noble Eightfold Path in Buddhism.

" We have all done things we know are wrong," he offered while meticulously removing my purple nail polish. "Use this time to purify yourself. Begin anew. Let the heat of the desert bake off any residual aspects of your personality that do not reflect who you are today. "

This is a good thing, I thought. Yes, I will cleanse myself and become more conscious of my thoughts and actions. Right Action -- Right Speech. A worthy and noble goal for the retreat.

Here's how I learned my first retreat lesson:

The airlines are now very strict with baggage weight limits. I was allotted 50 pounds. I weighed my bag at home and it was 53 pounds so I took a few pair of shoes out of my suitcase and put them in my backpack.

After checking in, my suitcase just under 50 pounds, the porter walked away to get my boarding pass. I quickly took my shoes out of my backpack and stuffed them into the suitcase. What he doesn't know won't hurt him, I sung to myself as I was Pullling the Wool Over His Eyes. Yeah, Yeah Yeah...

Guess what, I got caught. And thank goodness I did. In my mind I juxtaposed the conversation I had with with my nail technician with my actions at the airport. This long term behavior has been with me since childhood.

Seeking to right wrongs, exact fairness in situations where I felt misunderstood and in general, allowing entitlement to direct my course of action, will no longer work for me.

The events in the airport were so glaring, it burned through maya. Although these beliefs have been an integral part of my life for four centuries, yesterday served as my very own tipping point.

A brief conversation with my friend Doug, as he picked me up from the airport, was sobering indeed. " I will no longer take a pen that doesn't belong to me," he said. "I know it is not mine." Trying to get away with something leaves you knowing, even if the other person doesn't know. This is who you must become accountable to, Liz. Yourself."

Now... I know, even if no one knows, I do. I give thanks for Lesson #1 --
Right Action - Right Speech.